MIA

I've been a bit MIA this week, both in posting and commenting. It's been a very, very trying week at work slash in life. I made it through Saturday at work, and I was scared of going into work on Sunday. When I arrived, I was given five patients, one with eight million things to do, including hanging tons of blood. I've never hung blood by myself before (it's really not that hard), but I was already overwhelmed and worked up from Saturday night, so I just lost it. I spent the first three hours alternating between crying and trying to pull myself together. If it weren't for the other nurses on the floor, who essentially took over half my assignment for me, I wouldn't have made it. There's no time for an "off day" in nursing, or even an off couple of hours.

It's always interesting when one patient is telling you how happy he is with the care he's received during his stay, while another is telling you that you're just not doing enough.

Monday rolled around, and I had eight miles up. I was supposed to do ten strides with it, but I considered it a blessing to just be running...I was so physically and emotionally tired.

Monday, July 27
8.09 miles in 1:06:02, avg pace of 8:10

I was DREADING going to work on Monday. I couldn't do it. I kept trying to figure out if I could afford to move home/in with the Rocket Scientist and pay my loans/live off of tips from waitressing again. (I loved my days as a server...I actually liked going to work!) Of course that's a bit silly, so off to work I went. My manager took me into her office to talk about what happened this weekend, so I started crying then and just saying how hard everything was. At this point, we set up a time to go over "how everything is going so far" and to have my trial period review session. Is it just me, or shouldn't this have been set up a long time ago? Or shouldn't we have talked about this before I've been there for ten weeks? The only feedback I've gotten is from my preceptors, which is basically "you need to be faster" and "good job today." I'm not sure what else I expect, but I don't feel like there's much help in the development department.

ANYWAY. I survived work on Monday and had a MUCH MUCH needed day off on Tuesday. Of course, I slept in because I was so exhausted and then attempted to run ten miles. In the hot humidity. Worst. Plan. Ever. As a result of the combination of being emotionally and physically exhausted, not eating dinner for the past five nights (and therefore scarfing ice cream and animal crackers at one in the morning), and the heat, I had a terrible, terrible run. I ended up turning around after 3.25 miles and ran/walked back. Garmin ended up with a little over six miles, so I walked about half a mile of the way back. It was hot, I was miserable, and I spent part of my run crying. This was the first run I haven't completed in a looooong time. (Ever?) For my long time blog readers (okay, it hasn't been that long), I'm not even sure if I've had a "bad run." This resulted in me being more upset because not only was I so depressed about my job, I couldn't even complete a run.

This, of course, was a stupid thing to think because trying to run ten miles at noon was a terrible idea anyway. Stats, for no good reason at all:

Tuesday, July 28
6.04 miles in 50:46, avg pace of 8:24
Plus: another half a mile of walking, total stoppage time of 14:47 (go garmin!)

So basically those numbers mean nothing. Oh well.

With the rest of my glorious day off, I went grocery shopping and headed off to Nerdville (also known as Princeton). I ate an entire bag of Swedish Fish (small bag, but still). Don't listen to my nutrition advice.

Okay, this is getting long. Speed blogging!

Work on Wednesday was AMAZING. All the nurses had four patients, and we all got out ON TIME. I was wrapped up with everything by 10pm. I attempted to eat dinner (my sandwich was bad since I actually made it like three days ago...), and I wasn't rushed and I had time to spend with patients and help out other nurses. So good! I only had four scheduled medications to give (versus the usual bajillion...or 15-20). Getting out on time makes a HUGE difference, and it's exactly what I needed. I hope the next two days go smoothly before my weekend off.

Run this morning! I slept in a little too long, so it was a bit toasty when I was out, but not too bad. My legs are tired from this whole being-on-my-feet-forty-plus-hours-per-week, but we made it. Five "recovery" miles, which went well. My legs rarely feel fresh anymore, so I take what I can get. If anyone has any tips for not destrying my legs, please let me know. Should I wear recovery socks every night? Nightly ice baths? Anything?

Thursday, July 30 (When did that happen??)
5.31 miles in 43:36, avg pace of 8:13

My parents are currently driving through Indiana on their way here for a week! I'm so excited to see them, but it may also mean that I may continue to be a bit MIA for the next week or so. We shall see.

Sorry for the massive non-running-related talk. I don't know too many people here so I need to vent my life to someone...even if no one is actually listening! (Just kidding!)