Let’s start off with the most amazing news ever…I’m going HOME so sooooon. I have a 6am flight on Friday morning to head home. It’s currently 2:30 am, and since I got off of work at 1:00 am, I’m just going to stay up because otherwise I’m not sure I’ll get my butt back up to head to the airport at 3:45…and we can’t have that! I have not been home since I moved here wayyyy back in May. I love love love Chicago, my friends, and my parents, so I am ridiculously excited to head home. I have big plans to eat at all my favorite places, hang out with my parents/friends, and run twenty miles. (Okay, less pumped about that last one…but I guess I’ll squeeze it in.)
You cannot possibly fathom how excited I am. I will be exhausted when I get there, but ridiculously happy.
Let’s rewind to Wednesday, aka the WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but work was an absolute nightmare. I was pulled to another floor…again. I was tearing up while getting a patient into bed, and since I kind of knocked her nasogastric tube, she got mad, looked right at me, and exclaimed, “You don’t know what you’re doing, do you??” Well, actually, I don’t really, but you’re not supposed to know that. Miserable, miserable day. I had six patients, an aide who somehow didn’t even manage to get vital signs on my patients, and everything was non-stop. Half of my patients were very dependent, needing to be changed, a couple needed to be fed, and one complained the entire night that he was nauseated no matter how much anti-nausea medication I gave him. My shift is technically 3-11:30pm, but I clocked out at 2:30 in the morning. I had all my paperwork to do, and the nurse before me didn’t sign of any orders, so I had to go through all the charts and check them. The night nurse asked me eight million questions and looked at me like I’m the dumbest person alive (which I really must have been…what a mess).
Since last night was so miserable, I was PRAYING to be called off today. I couldn’t go back. Not yet. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m a terrible nurse. But alas, my floor actually has patients on it (like 20-24…don’t ask me where they came from!, so off to work it was. And I got to work on my floor…thank goodness!! I had five patients, one of which was suffering from severe dementia (it was bad…really bad), and two family who called me non-stop. I think I talked to people on the phone at least ten different times. I’m busy, remember?? Anyway. The highlight of my night was when a doctor called (randomly…I didn’t page him), and I kept apologizing because I didn’t have the chart or any of my information in front of me.
He stopped me and questioned, “Are you new here?”
”…Kind of” (Me thinking…”Okay, that’s obvious, but please don’t yell at me!”
”Okay, now stop saying, ‘I’m sorry.’ You have nothing to apologize for, and I’m the director of surgery, so if any doctor yells at you, you tell me and I will let them have it. And if any of them tell me that you say ‘I’m sorry’ one more time, I’m going to let you have it.”
He was very nice and I appreciated him telling me to calm down about not having everything right in front of me. I often freak out because so many people get worked up about “calling the doctor,” and I really think it’s made up to be a bigger deal than it needs to be. I apologize way too much in general, but I think I lay it on stronger when I think I’m obviously being an idiot…which is quite often these days.
Running these days hasn’t been much better than work has been…and if you read this blog just for the running, the nursing has taken over this post! Short recovery run on Wednesday:
Wednesday, September 9
5.21 miles in 43:33, avg pace of 8:22
Nothing to write home about…just got in the miles! I just my brand spanking new pair of Brooks Adrenalines…my old pairs have lots of miles on them, so I figured it was time to bring in a new pair. I’ve got another pair with about sixty miles on them, so I’ll probably need another pair before marathon day.
Today was supposed to be a tempo run…11 miles with 6 at lactate threshold pace. I wasn’t feeling like running at all after my disaster of a night last night, but I dragged my butt out, telling myself that it would get better if I just got out there. My warm-up felt okay, but I was tired. Mentally exhausted, physically tired too. I gave my LT miles a go and ended up quitting after a mile. My pace was around 7:20, which is fine, but I knew there was no way I was going to get through this workout. I decided to stop, more for my mental health than anything, and headed home. Ended up with a seven mile easier run…whatever, I’ll take it.
Thursday, September 10
7.01 miles in 57:23, avg pace of 8:11
Twenty miles up for this week…we’ll see how they go! Time to shower and finish packing…then off to CHICAGO for the weekend. People at work got really confused when I told them I’m going “home” this weekend…Pennsylvania is not home for me after living in Chicago for seventeen years. I can’t wait!